Finding Another Way #1


I'm loving writing my blog. I feel like I'm finally stepping into the courage to talk about the things I’ve really wanted to talk about and I live in the heartfelt hope that it helps others to take some courageous steps too.

I’ve been thinking about this idea of Another Way for some time and if I’m honest, it comes from the kind of scene that looks something like this:

  • Busy week of working 60/70 hours
  • Working on my business in my “spare” time
  • Not resting enough to try to find the time to DO IT ALL
  • De-prioritising myself, while still (oddly) seeing myself as a selfish cow
  • Saying YES all the goddamn time when I really mean NO
  • Worse than saying YES when I mean NO - actually hurling myself forward for extra things (champion “volunteerer” = me)

End result = “for the love of all things fucking holy, there has got to be Another Way”.

Do you see what I mean?

When you've lived your life in a fairly BOOM-BOOM-POW kind of way, done what you thought you were "supposed" to do (or the opposite, because y’know – rebellious soul), achieved what you are "supposed" to have achieved and succeeded and strived and succeeded some more, until quite honestly, it’s all just noise.

What happens next?

When the voices are whispering that there must be another way or maybe they’re even screaming at you in all sorts of ways that THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY, what do you actually do? NB - I know I’m not the only one that gets the voices so don’t go looking at me like that.

I’m wondering what stage you are at right now? How has that need to find Another Way been talking to you? Maybe it’s a little whisper that work is just asking too much from you or that you’re not sure if it’s what you really want to do? Feeling a little bit off at home and finding yourself doing sooooo many great things but not sure if any of them really make you happy?

Maybe your body and soul have been talking to you for a while now but like me, you’ve ignored them good and proper so now they’ve upped the attention-grabbing stakes and stuff has started to hurt.  Inexplicable pains, persistent headaches, achy joints, a skin irritant and no physical explanation for any of these things? I know you’re going to think I’m losing the plot now but when this kind of stuff happens, it is your body and your soul trying to get you to pay attention. They will always whisper first but if you choose to ignore the whispers, or if your ear isn’t quite fine-tuned yet, that ante will keep getting raised until you listen and more importantly do something. That something is where awakenings and conscious and courageous living come in.

Brené Brown (one of my fave writers EVER) talks about her breakdown as a “spiritual awakening” – essentially a time where she started to look at the world in a different way, saw herself as part of something much bigger. It’s a time when we start living consciously from reflection and choice, rather than from chaos and consumption and we start questioning everything and taking action on the things that matter to us most. Think of this process a little bit like going through puberty again – it’s going to be uncomfortable some of the time, you’re going to question yourself a lot, you’re going to question your friendships, your work, your colleagues and your place in the world and above all, you’re going to question your purpose in life – what exactly am I here to do?

Now that doesn’t mean that eventually we’re all going to end up selling all our worldly possessions and heading off to live in an ashram in India, but what it will mean for most of us is questioning all that we have and all that we do in our lives and whether they are what’s really in our hearts.

I was talking to coaching buddies recently about this idea that “Ignorance is Bliss” – it’s an interesting concept as some of the things that occupy my mind for days on end now, would never have even been on my radar 5 years ago. So yes, I get it, when friends or colleagues say to me that sometimes they wish they could go back to the blissful “before” and avoid all the hard conversations, the realisations and the growing pains, I know how they feel, been there, got that t-shirt.

One of the serious hangovers to conscious awakening is having to stand in your truth even when you reallyreally don’t want to (wow I’m rocking all the coachy-language today!). Once upon a time I could have quite successfully come across something about myself and then packaged that away for another day as it didn’t suit me to deal with that shit.  The further down this path of conscious awakening I head, the harder it is to ignore anything at all that comes up. A very favourite friend of mine is fond of saying “you can’t un-know what you now know” and now, when I learn something new about myself, I might reflect for a while and decide where this new thing belongs in my life, but pretty soon I have to take action. I can’t ignore it anymore.  The more I act, the more I learn – it’s one hell of a ride but I wouldn’t swap the ride for blissful ignorance for a single minute.

I can’t wait to explore this with you some more in the next instalment lovelies.